"STRAIGHT OUTTA UNI-BITCH" —an inscription on the shirt of a graduating student

The words written on a shirt of a student that graduated today. This week and the following, will see the University of Benin dishing out an army of half baked and un_baked graduates into the already overcrowded unemployable population. These EMBER months will see millions of uneducated people graduate from various university across Nigeria. Graduates without any form of education. One girl wore a shirt that had "WHO SCHOOL DON HELP" written on it and it's apt....actually it would have been "who Uniben don help" but an informal warning from the Ogas at the top went round that any student caught wearing WHO UNIBEN DON HELP might just be giving himself a fresh admission list, to show that UNIBEN can really help you make your life miserable. WHO SCHOOL DON HELP? Any graduate from any university in Nigeria has absolutely nothing to celebrate or rejoice about. You should just cover yourself in shame and fade into oblivion. Be sober. What are you actually celebrating?? Four years of learning nothing? Four years of going to school but never educated? Four years of learning what you have to spend the rest of your life unlearning? Four years of being taught what's absolutely useless to the society?? Why are you calling everybody to inform them that you are now a graduate with so much joy as if you just got an oil contract? You should be crying. Engineering graduate that can't assemble ordinary solar panel let alone manufacture any device... Law graduate that's charge and bail- Medical graduate that can only diagnose Malaria... Auto-mobile graduate that has no idea how cars are made... Artists that can't draw the human eye.. Literature students that has never written anything... Accountants with no idea of how the economy operates... Science students with no innovation. You can't stand other graduates in the same field from neighbouring African countries not to talk of developed nations and you are jumping and telling everyone that you are now a graduate. Maybe you are happy because you will now have a f**king piece of paper to shove on peoples face...you can now ask your neighbour to shut up because you are a graduate... You can now introduce the sentence to your every debate and argument as if it will make the trash you are saying credible...Your name is now in the hall of fame of graduates so your esteem gets a boost. If all you have now is a certificate, just go and start thinking about what to do with your life because you and your f**king piece of paper you call certificate is useless to the immediate society and the world at large. If you are graduating from a Nigerian university, kindly accept the fact that you went to school but didn't get any education. Chikena!!! This mental prison we call university only produces mental prisoners. Written by: Chijioke Malachi