MY NEIGHBOUR PART 3

THE DRAMA

Me: what's happening here? who the hell is this girl lying on my very own matrimonial bed?

my neighbour: (looking as if he is surprised) honey, you didn't tell me you are coming back.

Me: I said who the hell is this girl?

(The babe stood up from the bed, I was terrified
with what I saw. She has Serena Williams kind of body, but Serena is less macho if I compare both, she has a face that looks like one from obasanjo's clan... No wonder my neighbour was ready to pay any amount of money to get her out. Had it been I knew that's how she is, I would have charged more ooo. I knew immediately that I needed to give this babe 10 yards because if this babe wose me slap, na for mortuary I go wake up lol).

Babe: (facing my neighbour) who come be this one?



My neighbour: she is my wife, please dress up and start going I beg you.

Babe: go where? That one wey you dey talk so na story oo, I tell you last night when you dey chyke me say na two weeks I go stay because my house rent don expire, both of us agree say you no go pay me, say I go stay here dey service you while your payment be say I go stay here for two weeks... Abi you wan channnnnge am?

Me: (facing my neighbour) so you brought a whore to our house?

Babe: (facing me) come madam na who you dey call ashawo? You dey craze ni abi you dey learn craze? I no mind say I dey una house, I go stand here beat you black and blue. Where you carry this your crayfish body go when your husband dey do me touching body for night?

(My neighbour was even looking more terrified than I was, I'm sure if the babe starts beating me here he wouldn't do a thing... This babe beating me wasn't part of the pay ooo and not part of the script. I got to save myself and get of here before things get out of hand).

Me: (facing my neighbour) you aren't saying anything right? You are here and she is threatening to beat me black and blue but you kept mute right? Well, I'm out of here, I'm giving you one hour to take this girl out of my house. But know that whether she leaves or not, you are going to pay me my money (I had to quickly chip in this to avoid stories that touch the bombom when it gets to my payment. But before we go reach that side, I decided to jejely crawl back to my flat before this babe break my small head for wetin no concern me lol).

Babe: (pulls me by the hair) madam where you dey go? You must dey here till we settle this matter as your busy body no gree you stay where your husband go hide you make him for flex small. If you want make I leave una house, I go leave, but this yeye man wey you call your husband go pay me 50k, 50k or I no go comot
here.

My Neighbour: 50k for what? I didn't even touch you.

Babe: come mr man, na grammar you still dey speak abi? You better come down to my level oo, if not, by the time I handle you eh, you go no wetin sup.

(how my neighbour go pay this babe whooping sum of 50k when na only 7k he go pay me, that one no go happen oo)

Me: pay you 50k for what, because you farmed for him or because you conceived for his late grand father? Look lady or whatever you call yourself, you better get out of my house or I will deal with you... (I continue ranting)

(My neighbour was already pumping due to the way I was bringing down the roof with my ranting. He joined me in the ranting)

Babe: ok, so two of una think say una fit intimidate me abi? Alright, make una wait for me.

(She picked her bag and left)

DRAMA ENDS

My people, that's how my neighbour and I chased this babe out of his house oo, while he was excited that his problem was over, I was excited that I'm going to be paid for a job well done because this one was just a clean job.

I decided to take back my travel bag back to my flat, then come back to collect my pay and also stay with him for good Aproko gist.

I got to my flat, entered my room, I was about to drop my bag when I heard BANG at the gate. I looked through the window, lo and behold, it was this babe and three soldiers. "Where the idiot and him stupid wife?" One thundered. "Them dey for their house, make una follow me this way, by the time I deal with the stupid man and his crayfish wife, he go no the different between smirnoff ice and palm wine" the babe ranted.



OMO SEE GOBE!

I didn't know when I ran under my bed to hide... I can't die for my neighbour oooo mbok! Lolz. While I was under my bed, I was busy thinking of my money. Chai! I should have quickly collected it before going back to my flat.

The sound that was coming out from my neighbour's flat no be here, I need not to be there to narrate the beating of his life they gave him. Chineke m! So this my neighbour will owe me money again, how do I go meet him to pay me my money?, I really need the money this time around.

I was at the middle of my thought on how to collect my money from him when I heard "Where you say that your wife dey?, she must follow receive this beating. By the time we finish with both of you, if una see this babe for road, una go run enter bush"... One of the soldiers was ranting.

"Chineke mu oo! These people are coming for me oo" I exclaimed. For the first time, the thought of how to collect my money left me lol.

The I heard a bang on my flat's protector.


THE GIST CONTINUES