MY NEIGHBOUR

And my Neighbour did something today that reminded me of "My Neighbour" story I'm yet to finish.

I do hear that some guys can be very mean, but today happen to be my first time of seeing how mean a guy can be.

My neighbour has been asking this babe out for God knows how long now, few weeks ago, he gave the girl 15k to buy clothes. From the story my neighbour told me, its obvious that this very babe didn't ask him for money ooo, he gave her the money from his church mind.

On thursday, the babe finally told my neighbour that she can not date him because she has a boyfriend... My neighbour come provoke no be small. He has being contemplating on asking the girl to refund him his 15k, I asked him to forget the money that its one of those things. Well, my neighbour just left my flat now, he came to tell me he has collected his 15k back. The story;

My neighbour: Anita my bae of life, I told you that no girl can eat my money without paying except you (laughing)

Me: Except me ke? I have never eaten your money for free before oo, I work for every kobo you give me, abi you don forget?

My neighbour: (smiling) you know what I mean naa, no babe go fit chop my money clean mouth like you naa.

Me: (laughing) ok, this one you are talking of your money, have you gone to collect your money from that babe wey no gree you abi una don get down ni?

My neighbour: (laughing) get down for where? The babe is forming hard chic for me naa, so I go collect my money.

Me: haba! Is that how mean you have become now? You mean you actually met her and asked her to refund the money or what?

My Neighbour: Bae, I no dey run charity organisation oo not even with this present economic situation. One will not open his clean clear eyes and give a girl that didn't do anything for him money come to talk of a wopping sum of 15k... Bae check am naa

Me: don't bae me, you are an embarrassment I swear. Tell me, how did you ask her for the money?

My Neighbour: I called her on phone last night, I asked her when will she pay me back the 15k I borrowed her...

Me: (cutting him) but it was dash you dashed her naa not borrow

My Neighbour: Were you a witness when I dashed her the money? (Laughing), bae its her words against mine and as far as I'm concerned, as far as she didn't agree to date me, that money is borrow not dash.

Me: (laughing) and didn't she accept that its borrow not dash?

My Neighbour: As if she has a choice.

Me: Taaaaa! I pray ooo, if its me eh!

My Neighbour: bae chill, its not you so let's not talk of what will happen if its you.

Me: so?

My Neighbour: When I asked her when she is going to pay me the money, she asked me which me, I told her the 15k she borrowed from me. She was like "guy! I didn't borrow any money from you neither did I ask you to dash me, you were the one that gave me the money to buy clothes with it".

Me: hahahahahahaha

My Neighbour: bae chill, I never finish the story.

Me: (laughing) go on

My neighbour: I told her she better not try play smart with me oo because I'm ready to go meet her mom and her church pastor and tell them that she borrowed money from me and any horrible story to destroy her.

Me: Blackmailer!

My Neighbour: (laughing) bae, I was ready to say or do anything to get my 15k back ooo. Not as if the money is something I can't forfeit, but wetin pain me be say the bae was just giving me hope, chop my 15k clean mouth come get the guts take one boy do dp come write "my bae of life".

Me: hahahahaha now you have said what's annoying you. So make the babe no use her bobo do dp again because you give her 15k?

My Neighbour: not when she is with my 15k. Well, when I threatened to tell her mom and her church pastor, she quickly agreed to refund the money.

Me: baddest guy! So, when are you going to go collect the money?

My Neighbour: going? I have already collected it, that's where I'm coming from so (brings out the money from his pocket to count).

Me: well, I'm not of the opinion that you collect money you gave to a girl just because she refused dating you, menh! That's childish!

My Neighbour: ok naa, dey there dey blow grammar, I don already collect my money, so save your sermon for another day.

Me: eeee m, as you have already collected the money, where is my share for eye saw?

My Neighbour: (laughing) eye saw for which money? I thought you are against me collecting the money back?

Me: (smiling) you have already collected it naa, so I should have a share joor

My Neighbour: (laughing) you no say you na my personal person naa, but I don't know why you don't like supporting me

Me: I don't support bad things joor (laughing)

My neighbour: (laughing) you ke? Well, since you don't support bad things, this money is a bad money, people that don't support bad things shouldn't eat from it (walking away)

Me: (drags him back) come here joor, give me my share or I go spoil this your new runs with Chioma, I will tell her that you already have a fiancee. I trust you know what I'm capable of doing (laughing)

My Neighbour: (lauging) chai! Why did I even tell you this story self. (Deeps hand in his pocket, brings out money and counts) oya take this 5k, but promise me you wouldn't tell Chioma anything.

Me: (smiling... Takes the money from him and counts) good boy! As far as you remain good, I will remain good. As far as you and Chioma is concerned, I don't know you have a fiancee, you and fiancee ke? You don't even know any other woman apart from Chioma

My Neighbour: (lauging) that's my baddest bae! My partner in crime (he leaves to his flat)

Me: (Counts the money he gave me) wow! 5k, this will buy me a new pair of shoe... Ala Adighi Mma, Uru Ndi Nze.